I challenge you to a decathlon

Over the last year I've participated and witnessed many drunken conversations between friends that boil down to one question: Which of us is better? Most of these conversations pertain to athletic prowess but some go beyond that into the realm of intellectual and other capabilities. So I present to you, what I believe are two definitive ways to judge a person based on their athletic or overall greatness. For practical purposes these tests will only apply to judging same sex comparisons.

Athletic:
-100 yard dash
-5K run
-home run derby
-max bench press
-max leg press
-punt, pass and kick competition
-Golf: 18 holes match play
-Basketball: one on one, best of three games to 21 by 1s and 2s, make it take it.
-Tennis: best of 3 sets
-100m swim

Overall Judge of a Man's worth:

- one on one Trivial Pursuit

- IQ test

- salary over the past year

- most beers consumed in two hours, not allowed to throw up during that time, contestants must agree upon the same beer

- best three out of five playing one game a piece on Mario Kart 64 (Total Points Mushroom Cup 150cc), Tecmo Bowl (one game, Oakland not allowed), Bond 64 (best two of three: one game licence to kill, one game normal, and one game golden gun and the location must change every time), Street Fighter 2 (best 2 out of 3, must change characters every time), NBA Jam (2 out of 3, must change teams every time, turn off computer assistance)

- 100 yard dash

- one on one basketball: see rules from above

- SAT practice test. Sorry buddy, but your score from high school doesn't mean jack now.

- scavenger hunt: each person makes a list of 10 things that must be obtained within six hours. If more than three tasks are believed to be impossible, then the other person must complete one of the tasks within three hours.

- I think it goes without saying that at some point in the competition a unbiased girl must measure a body part on each male at full arousal.

Suggestions for each decathlon are welcomed. Also all challengers are welcomed as well.