College Football Blogs

Seems that I'm not the only one mentioning college football in their blog. However I don't have the ability to stay on topic as much as these other guys.

If you have ESPN Insider Bruce Feldman's Blog is still the main place to go for information.

I've really just started finding out about these sites around a week ago but Every Day Should Be Saturday is probably the most entertaining and readable site I've found.

Straight Bangin': Unfortunately the guy is a Michigan fan..Fortunately he's funny and knows his football.

FanBlogs.com is an all inclusive CFB blog. They seem to link to the best 5 or 6 stories from around the nation each day then people battle it out in the comments area. Which reminds me, everyone should feel free to post comments on this site whenever they want. Unless it's spam about the timber industry, which I will delete.

The CollegeFootballResource.com keeps tabs on a bunch of different CFB blogs for you. So you can read the entertaining posts only and cut out the 1,000 word breakdowns of the Vols depth at defensive tackle. The same can be said for The Truth Laid Bear site which has a much more pleasant layout than the CF Resoursce.


As for the more mainstream stuff Pat Forde wrote the first edition of his weekly column, the Forde Yard Dash. As always he goes out of his way to mention Adriana Lima. How the hell does a salsa dancing no talent like Jose Lima land this piece of ass. I swear if somehow Tim Wakefield pulls this type of ass as Lima, then I'm devoting myself full time to learning how to throw a knuckleball.

I don't know who redesigned ESPN's CFB page this year but it sucks. It's much less easy to navigate, they don't update it nearly enough, it appears that none of the Gameday guys are writing articles this year, and I can only hope the Ivan Maisel and Gene Wojciechowski will be doing their regular Friday column again this year. And for some reason it takes my computer forever to load CollegeFootballNews.com. So I guess what I'm trying to say that you have to deal with ESPN and supplement with blogs if you want lots of really good information.

I don't know how the other sites are but Scout.com's Auburn site is phenomenal if you have a membership. From the articles I've been able to read I'm assuming that the UGA, Florida, and bama sites on the network are pretty informative also. These sites usually consist of 1-2 writers who follow the school's sports year round. Then typically attend every practice, no every possible recruit, and do not have to pander to the mainstream interests like newspaper writers do. I can't vouch for every team on the network, GT's site sucks, but most places have a free message board where you can get some info and chat with like minded fans.

it's so close I can taste it...

Kirk Herbstreit announced his 5th annual Herbies. For awhile I was of the opinion that Corso was idiot and Herbstreit and Fowler knew their stuff. Well it's become more and more evident that old Kirk just doesn't need to put the amount of time into research that he should. Fowler seems to tow the company line. I think he's looking for some bigger gig so he tries to not ruffle any feathers with management. So basically he only expresses opinions about how great USC, Oklahoma, Notre Dame, FSU and Miami are. Will these opinions keep me from watching the show? No. I'm an addict. However I will say that I enjoy watching Rece Davis, Trev Alberts and Mark May. Trev has quit trying to be just a lightning rod and actually says some intelligent stuff, May is an idiot at times, and I'm a big fan of Davis. Plus the College Gameday Scoreboard that comes on around 2am is the only way to keep up with all the games if you tailgate all day. Because unfortunately all ESPN wants to talk about on Sunday is the NFL.

Bruce Feldman will be on The Show on espn.com at 4pm. If I remember correctly he does a pretty good chat even though he's obsessed with Miami.

CollegeFootballNews.com's predictions for the games this week in the SEC and the ACC. I agree with all of their SEC picks except for the Ole Miss vs. Memphis game. I just don't see the Rebels pulling it out on the road with a new staff and bad qb's. So Ole Miss and Kentucky keep the SEC from going undefeated. I have no clue about Wake but I think Vandy will be better this year but I'll agree with them and not take the 'Dores on the road. As far as their ACC picks go I think they are pretty dead on. I agree with Clemson pulling an upset over Texas A&M. I just think their offense is going to be much improved. New OC Spence is going to throw the ball around a ton and I think Whitehurst and his receivers are ready to do just that. However I wouldn't say that the Aggies have a whole lot of experience defending a complex aerial attack.

College Football Week

Since we're five days away from the start of the season I figure I"ll be pretty much be posting links to articles, offering my thoughts and on Friday giving my five picks for the week. To start off with the Atlanta Journal Constitution's list of the 50 things we love about college football in the South. It's not a perfect list but covers most of the biggies. However the rankings are a bit curious. I went and tailgated in the Grove last year and it was a phenomenal experience. Just an absolute spectacle that's essentially the biggest outdoor club on earth. Everybody's tents are right next to each other, there are hot girls in skirts everywhere. But putting them on the list would imply that at the end of tailgating the fans got to go into Vaught-Hemingway Stadium and actually see a real football game. Also having Pig Sooey at #7 seems a bit high for me. I always associate it more with their basketball team than football.
50-41
40-31
30-21
20-11
10-1

also I would have done something like

12. Tube tops and jean cutoffs

The annual Florida vs. Florida State game every year is a chance for every football fan in North Florida to wear their Sunday bests on Saturday. There are garnett & gold and orange & blue tube tops for as far as the eye can see.

Also it'll be real interesting to compare ESPN's Power 16 at the end of the season with their preseason list rankings.

McSweeney's and More

king of stuckeybowl
Originally uploaded by beefcakejcc.

Over the last few months the funniest stuff I've read on the internet has all come from McSweeney's. But for some reason I didn't visit the site regularly. It's insane how much comedic gold they have posted on that site. So needless to say there is always good stuff to be found.

Which brings me to my next point. You may have thought that Michael Ian Black hit his pinnacle on I Love the 80's or one of the other pop commentary VH1 shows. Still others will go with Phill Stubbs on Ed or his appearances on the State and Viva Variety (as Johnny Bluejeans). It's most likely that he actually peaked on Celebrity Poker Showdown with his placing of the the David Copperfield headshot into the betting circle. But luckily he's also thrown down five articles on McSweeney's which are all quite humerous.

Now a few thoughts on his new show Stella that's on Comedy Central. Michael Ian Black co-stars on the show with Michael Showalter and David Wain. In addition to writing and directing Wet Hot American Summer they also have been performing Stella as a stage show for the last seven years or so. Which happens to be the flaw with the show. They are acting like they are still on stage. Everything is completely over the top and often distracting. At least once an episode there is a 10 second shot of them running around screaming with their arms waving chaotically. Or as I like to call it, exactly like every humor skit I've seen performed by children in my life. However, the show has promise. There are some genuinely funny moments each show and it if they get the chance to do a second season, after they've personally watched the first one, I think they'll force themselves to be more subtle. The other notable aspect of this show is how many celebrity cameos they've managed. It's startling to see how many friends/fans they've convinced to come on the show. We're only 8 episodes in and in addition to their friends from the State they've had Ed Norton, Sam Rockwell, Topher Grace, Alan Ruck, Tim Blake Nelson, Paul Rudd, and Janeane Garofalo. Who may also be known as Worm, Zaphod Beeblebrox, Eric Forman, Cameron Frye, Delmar, Brian Fontana, and that girl that everyone thinks is a lesbian and no one finds funny.

"it's a hell of a lot better than what I'm currently doing, which is expounding on the cultural significance of The A-Team for VH1. (When they asked me for my occupation on my income tax return this year, I wrote down "Fundit," and almost collapsed from depression.)" -Michael Ian Black

Natalie Shepherd - Our Most Multi-Talented American

She can trim my hedges
Originally uploaded by beefcakejcc.

Do yourself a favor and spend a few minutes perusing NatalieShepherd.com. Apparently this young entrepreneur has a lawn care service in which she mows lawns in a bikini, is a singer (check out the video clip of her singing Amazing Grace while wearing a bikini), she does death defying stunts on motorcycles, teaches club dancing online "for those of you that want to dance at the club but don't know where to start or don't have the confidence to just jump out there and start shakin your body around", and still has time to model and audition for American Idol.

You can't knock the hustle. Keep up the good work Natalie.

bullet points

-Finally got around to watching Sideways last night. I obviously can't add any new perspective on the movie at this point. However I will say that Paul Giamatti shouldn't worry about not winning the best actor Oscar. Sure it would be nice to have been nominated, but it's not the career boost that the media tries to make it out to be. Check out the collection of crap Halle Berry has done since winning for Monster's Ball. You're telling me she couldn't have gotten roles in those movies without an Oscar. And Adrien Brody's career has officially dropped into Bolivia.

-Good article about little leaguers in Curacao and Andruw Jones. I'm a little sad that none of these kids wants to grow up and be like Randall Simon

-this chick's posts have really been making me laugh lately. It can't be healthy that I find angry women especially humerous.

-I wonder if there is some personality trait that leads to people like myself preferring to play EA's NCAA Football over Madden? It's not even that I like college football so much,I've thought for awhile that the gameplay is better.

-In honor of Beavis & Butthead's triumphant return to MTV, I give you the incredibly entertaining Cornholio soundboard. Seriously, why don't they show repeats of the show on MTV? I would love an MTV Classic channel where they show Beavis and Butthead, Remote Control, old Real Worlds, etc.

Can I borrow a grand from somebody

I forgot to mention this, but last week I heard the director of the Mandalay Bay Sportsbook on 790AM. The hosts were asking him about different odds for the upcoming football season. The biggest shocker. The field is a 2-1 underdog against USC to win the Rose Bowl this year. That is crazy. What's more ridiculous is that enough people are betting on the field to move the line. I would take that bet in a second and all of this would go along with the second most amazing thing I heard on the radio last week. Norm Chow has been the offensive coordinator for 15 straight winning seasons. That's ridiculous and if you don't think USC is going to drop off a little as a result of losing him then you're crazy.

Here are the games I'm looking most forward to watching this year and their current lines according to Sportsbook.com, which I highly recommend. Meaning they are reliable and I"ve never had a problem with them but I don't suggest taking up betting on sports unless you feel that your wallet is too full. But that being said if you decide to join don't be afraid to tell them that beefcakejcc referred you so I can get some cash.


9/5 Miami -5 Florida St.
9/10 Texas +1.5 Ohio St.
9/17 Tennessee +3.5 Florida
10/01 USC -15.5 Arizona St.
10/08 Texas -3 Oklahoma
10/22 Auburn +7 LSU
10/29 UGA +2 Florida
11/12 Auburn +7 UGA
11/19 Ohio St. + Michigan

For the record, for the SEC Champ. they have Auburn at 10-1 and UGA at 4-1. Since I believe one of these two teams will win it I'd put my money down on both. LSU is 2-1, UT 4-1, and UF is 7/2 or 3.5-1.

and on a much more juvenile note figure out your Pirate name. Much like your Ron Mexico name but saltier. I ended up with the Dread Pirate Cash.

He might as well be rolling with snakes at this point...

Pat Robertson is a crazy scary man. To summarize the article for you Robertson wants the US Government to "assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez" which would seemingly be a direct contradiction of the statement on PatRobertson.com that Pat is "a broadcaster, statesman, author, humanitarian, businessman and Christian". But maybe it's just me that thinks that humanitarians don't normally call for the assasination of people.

And just in case Sean, Annie, or Becky were curious he graduated from Washington & Lee and was an SAE there. So be proud.

On a completely unrelated note, good article on the Falcons recent history by Bomani Jones. His site is pretty interesting as well.

And for the members of the Tribe here is a list of Jewish athletes currently playing D-1 football, basketball, or baseball. Link was courtesy of the Bruce Feldman ESPN Insider article. Of course I don't know how accurate this is. I heard David Eckstein tell Dan Patrick once that he won the Jewish NCAA Baseball Player of the Year award despite the fact that he's not Jewish. So there's a good chance that they just look down rosters and guess.

I hope with all my heart that Greg Harrell-Edge dies!

First of all, many thanks to the Intern for pimping my Tivo skills to the whole world and throwing down a Kill Bill reference at the same time. I may get that framed.

However this Type A workaholic douchebag that won Jimmy Kimmel Live's professional tv watching job, has just pissed me off to no end. First of all, you are not elgible to be named laziest person in America if you played collegiate basketball. There is nothing lazy about running a suicide. Also lazy people don't typically earn degrees in Politics from UVA. It's not an issue because I don't even own a suit, but I also wouldn't have worn one to the audition. The unenergetic also don't create and promote fake holidays, travel to Thailand or write novels. But I realize that's not the actual point of the competition. Otherwise they would just find the fattest waste of person in America who's name would be something like Porkchop or Hambone. When it comes down to it this competition was to find someone who has not problem watching 12 hours of tv a day and identify humerous clips and occasionally provide jokes about them.

It's hard to judge those aspects of him from this article. He doesn't come off as funny but that could be LA Times writer's fault. They also don't address any love for television that he might have, which is also the writer's fault. Obviously I wanted this job but apparently my application wasn't funny or convincing enough. But that's not surprising. I'm not a good writer and I'm too lazy to proofread. However I would like to challenge Greg to prove his love of television. Also I'd like to state that anyone who is willing to write down a hyphenated last name all the time is obviously a tireless worker and an ass clown. Unless Greg got married and took his life partner's name. If that's the case then I apologize with all my heart.

great football article

This is might be the most informative football.article I've ever read. It follows Ralph Friedgen as he is breaking down film of opponents. My two favorite quotes:

"Friedgen zeroed in on a defensive lineman.'If the three-technique was in one stance, he wasn't stunting,' Friedgen said. 'The offensive linemen made a check at the line, and the quarterback made a check at the line. It was unbelievable. It was so locked in.'"

"I can show the quarterback where the free safety is when they run a corner blitz. The safety is 4 yards off the hash instead of 2."

I'd like to think that I put the same preparation into beating the computer in NCAA 2006. Also congrats to Ivan Maisel for getting the Fridge be so open on his secrets. Hell he even discussed a flaw in the gameplan of his opening opponent for this season. He's either cocky as hell or dumb as hell. Of course, the opponent in question is Navy, so I'm going with cocky as hell. Also, though I never sealed the deal I still contend that Ivan Maisel's niece who went to uga wanted me. I blame it all on Kevin giving Marla the cold shoulder.

also if you live somewhere else and don't have it already and/or have never heard of him, you can preview and buy Connor Rand's latest album at cdbaby.com. This one is rocking and most of the stuff he's been playing for the last year or so.

and apparently when you refer to Atlanta as the Chocolate City it is now a double entendre.

more SEC

For the record I've completely changed my opinion on the final SEC standings since my post a few weeks ago. I'm now going:

SEC West: Auburn, LSU, Arkansas, bama, Miss St., Ole Miss
SEC East: UGA, UT, UF, USC, Vandy, UK

There are a few reasons for this. One huge one being I watched the 2004 SEC Champ. game again and really looked at UT. Granted Gerald Riggs looked good and the WRs and QB should be better this year, but their defense is a joke. DE Parys and DT Mahelona are extremely overrated. They lost their best linebacker and their secondary was awful last year and there is no reason to see improvement this year. Throw in the fact that they play @UF, @LSU, and @bama plus they play UGA at home. So I'm saying it's unlikely they will go undefeated.

LSU drops down because they just lost Broussard for the season (knee injury) who was their most well rounded back. Of course they still have Addai and Vincent but I'm just not sold on them. I know they have a ton of talent but they have a new coach and most of that talent is not experienced. Losing their two star corners from last year really changes how they have to play on D in my opinion.

I'm saying Auburn wins one of the two games on the road against LSU and UGA. It's tougher if they lose to LSU but I still think there is a reasonable chance. Plus I'm really sold on Auburn's passing game at the moment. Other than that I think Arky is a sleeping giant and bama is ridiculously overrated. Oh yeah Urban is going to be a first year bust. Their defense will be dreadful and I genuinely feel sorry for Chris Leak. If they try to make him run the option he may be killed on the field.

Inner Child Week

Since I don't get the paper, I have to say that Comics.com is great way to kill some time. My two personal favorites are Get Fuzzy and Pearls Before Swine. They have varying levels of membership but with the free one you can be emailed your favorite comic everyday. And you can always check up to the last 30 days of any of the comics they have.

While we're at it check out this collection of the Calvin and Hobbes creative snowmen strips. Of course I never thought it got classier than having one of these stickers on your car.

Every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life

athf
Originally uploaded by beefcakejcc.

Here's the thing. Life sucks. The first 23 years or so are pretty fun but you don't realize that at the time. Then you have to get a job where they expect you to do work five days a week and actually come in to the office even though it's raining outside and you're tired. Sure life has it's little joys like watching a football game or making fun of someone so that you feel better about yourself... but basically it's a mind numbing grind.

Of course I may just be saying this because I stayed up all night watching Adult Swim and I'm now extremely sleepy and my afternoon nap can't come soon enough. After people like Panama Red talked about it obsessively, I decided to start Tivoing Aqua Teen Hunger Force a couple of months ago. It took me awhile to warm up to the show but now the two episodes I usually get to watch a day are fantastic. In addition to ATHF I caught both episodes of the Family Guy on Fox then on Adult Swim I checked out one episode of the Family Guy, Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law, the Ventures, Sealab 2021, the Brak Show and Space Ghost Coast to Coast. I gotta say that Harvey Birdman, the Ventures and Sealab were all really funny and getting added to the Season Pass list. Anyways, here are a few related links.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force official site
Adult Swim site
ATHF quotes arranged by episode
Which ATHF character are you quiz
Flak Magazine Interview with the writers & creators of ATHF
Harvey Birdman interview

jdate

Since someone brought it up on URLB I felt I should share it with everyone. Here is the free profile that Dr. Rosenpenis created for the Jman on jdate. Easily the best writing job he's ever accomplished. I have no problem with the profile because a) my picture or name are not used 2) it's hilarious c) I get e-mailed six matches for Jman694life everyweek that sometimes features girls we know from highschool and college.

Also if you have a really big decision to make this weekend don't be afraid to ask the Magic 8 Ball

Me: Will I die tonight?
Magic 8 Ball: Not a chance

So if anyone is up for some van surfing or tight rope walking tonight, I'm down. Also for the alterna-chicks out there you can get yourself a fine piece of jewelry over on Ebay.

Also, it's just been brought to my attention that the Buckhead Little League Baseball team will be playing on ESPN tonight at 7pm. This is of note because the star of the 11 & 12 year old basketball team at Northside that the Dude and I coached, Clayton Lau, is going to be pitching for Buckhead tonight. So I'm willing to put my NYO allegiances aside for one night and cheer on a former member of the 2004-05 NUMC Lakers. Here is a story about the team.

Heartbreaker

heartbreaker
Originally uploaded by beefcakejcc.

To be blunt, Heartbreaker by Ryan Adams is the best album to be made in the last 10 years. It's not upbeat, it's not happy, many of the songs aren't immediately accessible, but it is damn near perfect. Most people's first instinct is to compare it to an album like Blood on the Tracks, and I can see why, but I see a lot more there. For an acoustic album, it's easily the best produced/mixed/layered album I've heard. The main reason being producer Ethan Johns who happens to be the son of Glyn Johns who produced albums for the Stones, Who, Led Zeppelin and the Eagles. Ethan Johns has a great sense of when to let the vocals be the focal point of a track and when to throw in a harmonica, organ, or guitar as the dominating force. For his part Adams supplies heartfelt lyrics that detail his attempt to get over a relationship and possibly the best vocal performance by a white male singer since the seventies. Emmylou Harris, Gillian Welch, David Rawlings, and Kim Richey make guest appearances on the album.

I downloaded Heartbreaker during the glory days of Napster back in the start of 2001 after reading a review of it by Elton John in Interview magazine. You're immediately grabbed by about 5 songs off the cd. After about 3 months you have five new favorite songs.. Then after a year you can't imagine ever dropping a song from the album and it still being as good. This is honestly the only album I own where I can name the my top 5 listenings, like I'm a deadhead comparing different shows from the 72 summer run. If there is any downside to this album it's that it signaled Adam's peak. He finally had organized his brilliant ideas from the Whiskeytown days into a concise album and he had not yet crumbled under the pressure that this album created from fans and critics.

There is no way I'll ever to be able to describe Heartbreaker as well as I'd like but here is what Nick Hornby, writer of High Fidelity, Fever Pitch, etc. , had to say about Oh My Sweet Carolina, which happens to be my favorite track on the album (for now).

If you have iTunes you can pick up Heartbreaker for just $10. For the price of about two drinks at a bar you can get an album that may affect you for the rest of your life. You may think I'm being melodramatic, but if you think that, you probably don't own the album.

Heartbreaker at the Apple Music Store

Cellar Dwellars

dale-murphy-power-alley
Originally uploaded by beefcakejcc.

I’ve enjoyed watching the Braves this season more than any other season since 1991. It’s an absolute thrill to see how these rookies are thriving in the big leagues. But something about it feels weird. Call me crazy...but I miss the old days a little bit. Obviously this has a lot to do with nostalgia and the love for the game only a kid can have but in some ways those lovable losers had a lot to offer.

Sure it’s nice to have a sold out stadium that roars with every hit, strikeout and homer. But I think there is also something to be said for the ghost town that was Fulton County Stadium in the eighties. First of all there were enough open seats in left field for them to have a teepee for the truly outstanding Chief Knockahoma. I’m sure kids these days love visiting the Cartoon Network’s Tooner Field in center at the Ted, but seeing the Chief was like getting to sit on Santa’s lap in the July. Another under looked advantage of those sparsely populated games was that there were not enough people to complete the wave. And as far as I’m concerned the only good thing to ever come of the wave is the funniest scene from When Harry Met Sally. Also, it used to be a hell of a lot easier to get a foul ball at the game. All you had to do was sprint over and be the first one to snag the ball that was rolling under the empty seats.

Since attendance was so low the Braves were doing anything to get people to come to the games. Enter the 20 game season ticket plan that my father and I got from 1984 through 1990. And to make things that much more enjoyable you got to pick which 20 games you wanted to attend. So you loaded up on as many giveaway days as possible and filled out the the rest with Mets games which provided one hell of a summer for an 8 year old. I had enough fake Ray-Bans, miniature bats and helmets and crappy hats to last a lifetime. However in 1990 they traded Dale Murphy, quit letting you choose your games, and we decided it just wasn’t worth it anymore. For what it’s worth despite all of the fabulous decisions he’s made I will always hold a grudge against John Schuerholz. Somehow he managed to trade or cut my two childhood heroes. First in Kansas City cutting Bo Jackson after his hip injury and then trading Dale Murphy to the Phillies so we could let Odebe McDowell roam around in right for the rest of the season. Also of note is that the season after we stopped getting tickets the Braves have rattled off 13 division titles and counting..

Since 1990 the Braves have seen some stars in Glavine, Smoltz, Maddox, Chipper, and Andruw. But as much as people love Smoltz he has never been the figure in Atlanta that the Murph was. In many ways you weren’t going to the Braves game, you were going to root for #3. It’s always fun to have a great team but there’s something different about having a superstar. That’s what separated those late 80’s Hawks teams with Nique from the Mookie, Mutombo, Smith teams that won just as many games in the 90’s.

I guess it comes down to feeling a loss of ownership. Back in the 80’s I felt like it was my team. Like I was part of some elite club. I cherished my Rafael Ramirez Golden Glove Topps card in a way no kid in Nebraska ever could. I was one of maybe 15,000 fans that witnessed Braves starting pitcher Derek Lilliquist jack two homers over the Rally Alley. And now I just feel like one of the masses.


Some quotes about Dale Murphy:

"If your a coach, you want him as a player, If your a father, you want him as a son. If your a woman, you want him as a husband. If your a kid, you want him as a father. What else can you say about the guy?" - Joe Torre

"These days, anytime one of my pitchers keeps Murphy in the ball park, I pat 'em on the fanny" - Pete Rose

"I can't imagine Joe DiMaggio was a better all-around player than Dale Murphy." - Nolan Ryan

mmmm Purple Flavor....

grape-ape
Originally uploaded by beefcakejcc.

Some people like to come up with conspiracy theories about landing on the moon, NBA officiating, the winner of Dancing with the Stars. or something else trivial. Not me. For the last five years I've been pondering a conspiracy theory dealing with the almighty junk food industry. Jolly Ranchers, Popsicles, Kool-Aid, Grape Soda (the purple stuff) etc. all have a grape flavor. Which is pretty normal considering they also have cherry, strawberry, etc. And everybody's grape flavor pretty much tastes exactly the same, which once again is not that weird. Except for the fact that none of it taste like grapes. Now granted that strawberry flavored candy doesn't taste exactly like a strawberry, but it's at least a more sugary version. However this grape flavor has no semblance to an actual grape be it white or red. So basically a long time ago some company decided to assign a flavor to the color purple. Somehow in this great nation of freedom everyone else bought into it. People constantly argue over the taste differences between Sweet & Low and Equal, or butter and margarine but amazingly everyone has agreed upon an imaginary flavor for the color purple. I'm not exactly sure what the ulterior motives were behind this... but I'm pretty sure the Russians were involved.

If you don't have Tivo and can't fast forward through the new outrageously awful R. Kelly 5 episode "rap opera", Trapped in the Closet, you can save yourself the agony by checking out the Cliff Notes. Personally I think the best/worst/most ridiculous lyric may be "Next thing you know, a call comes through on my cell phone
I tried my best to quickly put it on vibrate " or course it's hard to beat out the romantic under tones of "And I said I caught a cramp, And she said please keep on goin, I said my leg is about to crack, Then she cries out, Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax". I tell you what..that R. Kelly is like the Black Bob Dylan.

Poor man's intern

Here is some stuff I found on the internet today:

Hot Tub Johnny apparently has discovered a cool elevator hack that allows you to skip floors other than your destination.

If you wanted to download White Ladder by David Grey you could probably do that here. If for some reason you lost your cd or something or you apparently were under a rock during the early 90's you can download Peal Jam's Ten here.

Update on the Steve Belkin fiasco. All of these owners are trying to spins their stories different ways in the media. The one thing I know for sure is that Belkin is the only one who doesn't realize how important it is to sign Joe Johnson no matter what the price, so we can win a few ball games and have the hopes of signing another big time free agent next summer along with who we get from the lottery.

If you have ESPN Insider the Ivan Maisel chats from the Show are always entertaining. Mentions Auburn, UGA, and bama. Apparently Auburn contacted Michigan and Notre Dame about playing a home and home in the future but neither team was interested. Apparently Notre Dame has realized that they need more people like Army on their schedule. Also I'd like to state here that I'm absolutely sick of the talking heads on ESPN referring to Notre Dame's schedule has the hardest in the nation every year. Why don't you actually look at the schedules and make an informed statement instead of thinking about how life was like in the 70's. Tell me the last time Notre Dame played 4 top 10 teams in the regular season then tell me how many SEC teams have done that in the last 5 years.

New Tucker Max story about the town best know for being the backdrop of Wings.... at least in my mind it is.

Along the lines of being under a rock in the 90's if you were a kid in the 80's then you probably want to pick up the first season of The Muppet Show DVD.

The Three Best

On my way to pick up the #6 at Wendy's today I was listening to a sportstalk show and they had an intriguing question. Who are the three best players to ever play for your favorite NFL team? The one that I found most interesting was San Francisco with Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, and Ronnie Lott. All three are going to be Hall of Famers and each one has made a case for being the best player at their position ever. Then the ridiculous fact that they all played at the same time. So I'd like to open it up to the MLB and NBA and see which franchise has the best top 3 guys. Off the top of my head

Celtics: Russell, Bird, Havlicek
Yanks: Ruth, Gehrig, Mantle
Dodgers: Robinson, Koufax, Drysdale
SF Giants: Mays, Bonds, McCovey?
Lakers: WIlt, Shaq, West
Bears: Payton, Singletary, Butkus

more sugary goodness

This is a real voice mail of a guy who is leaving a message for his friend then sees a traffic accident happen in front of him. Pretty damn funny.

iron mike

well this is just an oustanding story about Iron Mike being in talks to star in a porn with one Jenna Jameson. Apparently Jay-Z and Mike Tyson are the modern day Ron Jeremy and John Holmes. Which would explain Beyonce and Robin Givens

I hate Steves (not named Sanders)

AtlantaHawksOld
Originally uploaded by beefcakejcc.

I'm not saying that Joe Johnson is ever going to be an All Star or be the undisputed star of a team. But the Hawks sure as hell need him and paying the max is definitely worth it. It's not about who he is, it's about starting to get free agents to come play in Black Hollywood where most of them live anyways.

Now a little back story, the Hawks were bought by a 9 person ownership group last year called the Atlanta Spirit. It consists of three Atlantans (one being Ted Turner's son in law I believe), 3 guys from DC, and 3 Bostonians. The head of the Boston group, Steve Belkin, serves as the NBA Governor for the group, meaning he has to sign off on all transactions. They also own the Atlanta Thrashers and Phillips Arena. Well this ass clown Steve Belkin has not signed off on the Joe Johnson for 2 lottery protected 1st round draft picks and Boris Diaw who is the French 23 year old version of me on our JV basketball team (completely overwhelmed playing point guard and scared to death). So anyways this douchebag Steve Belkin and his Boston group want to keep the Hawks payroll well under the salary cap. Apparently this guy treats Donald Sterling like he's Yoda.

I know many people don't care about any of this. However the city of Atlanta needs the Hawks to come back. And this Belkin guy vetoing this trade would set us back again. Everything was on the come, we finally made some exciting draft picks, everyone was pumped from watching Josh Smith last year, a free agent actually wanted to sign with us instead of a team that made it to the Western Conference Finals last year. And what does Steve do? Sit around for days wondering whether or not he will sign off on the trade because he thinks of the Hawks as an investmant and not a team.

You may not care about the Hawks, you may not care about the NBA, but if you're reading this you care about sports. Email this guy and tell he's what wrong with sports. You can be Sterling or you can be Steinbrenner. You can bring in the bare minimum of fans and make a little money, or you can be the biggest team in the league, sell jerseys and make a ton of money. Tell Belkin to make the right choice.

Send him an email steve.belkin@atlantaspirit.com

online video

Apparently I'm looking for cool sports videos online today and will be adding them as I find them

let's get it started with Tiger from the 2005 Masters

Old Jordan vs. New Jordan Gatorade commercial

Video of Allen Iverson crossing over and effectively breaking Michael Jordan's ankles. No wonder AI is not on the Jumpman label.

video of Chelsea Davis slamming her face on the diving board

CHECK OUT MY LARGER COLLECTION OF CLASSIC SPORTS COMMERCIALS

surprisingly

I'm actually reading Bringing Down the House by Ben Mezrich. It's about a group of MIT kids who card count at blackjack, think Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man, and take casinos for a ton of money. Here's the thing. I hate reading and I hate math. And this more or less a book about math and I'm completely riveted. i don't like to hear/ or give away too many details so let me just say this: If you like Blackjack, READ THIS BOOK! If you want a longer review you can click on the link below.

Oysterfest

Oysterfest, is that special time of the year when I celebrate my birthday with a ton of raw oysters, a hundred or so bottled beers, and the people who pretend to be my friends so they will be invited to this party every year. The beer menu this year consisted of Corona, Corona Light, Abita Amber, Stella Artois, Shiner Bock, Shiner Blonde, Red Stripe, Moosehead, Dos Equis Amber, Dos Equis Lager, Blue Moon, Sweetwater 420, Sweetwater Blue, Sweetwater Summer Hummer, Anchor Steam, Tecate, and Hardcore Cider.

On Saturday I had Abita, Stella, Blonde, Moosehead, Amber, 420, Blue, Summer Hummer, Anchor Steam, Tecate and Cider. Although I've enjoyed it before I had Sweetwater Blue for about my 7th beer and did not enjoy it at all. It's really a beer that you have to start the night off with. I enjoyed Shiner Blonde more than any other beer.

On a side note, in this man's opinion, 60lbs of oysters is not enough for 12-14 people. The guy at the farmer's market said it would be around 160 oysters, which I don't believe. That being said buying enough for each person to only have a dozen is not enough in most cases anyways. I'm thoroughly disappointed when I have to throw down less than 3 dozen. Since my oyster fix has not been satisfied I was very happy to hear from Lacy that Dantana's has 50c oysters from 4-7 each weekday. So I'm pretty sure I'll be hitting that up at regular intervals even after Lacy quits working there and moves to L.A. or when she continues to work there and gives up on L.A.

What a glorious day...

For me, college football begins today. Freshman are reporting for practice at Auburn today. And the same thing will happen at many schools this week. Without doing much research into scheduling here's how I think things are going to shake out in the SEC:

SEC East: UT, UGA, UF, USC, Vandy, UK I think UT and UGA both have one or two losses in the east but UT wins the tie breaker, not sure about UF's defense plus if it goes to a 3 way tie I think they lose b/c of a possible FSU loss. Spurrier needs 3 years, and Vandy gets the nod b/c they have Kentucky and Ole Miss at home.

SEC West: LSU, Auburn, bama, Arkansas, Ole Miss, Miss St. Although I have no clue what to make of LSU's new coach and young quarterback I'm giving them the nod because of their schedule. I don't see Auburn winning both at LSU and UGA with an inexperienced backfield. the scandal plagued university of alabama tuscaloosa (spuat for short) seems to be the best of the rest, arky needs a qb, Ole Miss has a brutal schedule and no qb, and Miss St. would be mediocre in Conference USA.

LSU and UT in the Dome and I think LSU wins it. However I would still like to state that LSU Bleauxs and their fans smell like corndogs.

I think Auburn and UGA have very reasonable chances of playing in Atlanta also though. Richt has to prove that he will actually commit to running the ball and playing old school nasty football. UT definitely has holes and could lose up to three games. Auburn should cruise at home and theortetically only worry about road games at LSU, Arkansas, and Georgia. If they beat LSU then I think they are in the Championship game. The key to Auburn's year is to be somewhat productive on offense and minimize turnovers because the defense is going to be sick.

As for the rest of the nation. Who cares? If it ain't the SEC then it ain't shit.