Movies

Over the last couple of months I've had the pleasure of watching several movies that would classify as my childhood favorites. And they hold up well. Headlining this list would be Revenge of the Nerds. Like all 80's movies, it's good to catch this on DVD instead of USA or Comedy Central every once in awhile. Actually, Nerds may suffer from cable tv editing more than any other movie from this era. But in general I have a few thoughts:

- This movie was an absolute gold mine for 90's television stars: Anthony Edwards (Gilbert Lowell) would go on to ER fame, Timothy Busfield (Poindexter) was in Thirtysomething, the West Wing, and played Ed Steven's brother on Ed. Then you throw in John Goodman (Coach) on Roseanne and Ted McGinley's (Stan Gable) outstanding run on Married with Children and you have a dynamite tv cast.

- Larry B. Scott (Lamar) doesn't get near enough credit. He went from being a member of Kobra Kai to transforming into the most believably flamboyant homosexual of the 80's. Plus the dude can rap.

- Someone should have transformed Booger and Ogre into the Abbott and Costello of our day. However in my opinion Ogre is better in Nerds II when he performs longest urination in cinema history.

- Like Teen Wolf, Can't Buy Me Love, and other 80's movies.. Julia Montgomery (Betty Childs) plays the hot blonde lead role that in retrospect isn't that hot. Why would you cast someone who's not a complete knockout. Of course this may be due to finding an actress who would shoot a nude scene. Which wasn't an a issue when they landed Courtney Thorne-Smith for the sequel. And speaking of Courntey...

I also caught Summer School on TBS a couple of weeks ago. Just a completely enjoyable movie. I think at one point in my life I wanted to become a PE coach because I envied Mr. Shoop's life so much. Here's a couple of thoughts on that movie:

- Fabiana Udenio who played the hot foreign exchange student, also played Alotta Fagina in the first Austin Powers movie.

- It's a crime that Dean Cameron, who nailed Chainsaw, only had one other good movie, Ski School. I mean he actually comes off like a comedic genius at points in Summer School. Seriously, watch the movie and tell he's not hilarious. You can't do it. It's impossible. It's the comedic cinema equivalent of trying to fold a piece of paper in half 8 times or whatever it is.

- Remember when Kirstie Alley was hot? It seems so long ago. What the hell happened. I understand getting old and wrinkles and gray hair entering the picture, but it's like she doesn't even care anymore.Old Kirstie vs. Current Kirstie.

- I think between Summer School and Back to the Beach I learned as a child that the coolest possible thing on earth was surfing.

Videos for a Friday

- This maybe the saddest basketball highlight video I've ever seen. Thank god I didn't have a video camera when I was having slam dunk contests on 8ft goals back in middle school.

- And this maybe the greatest college football recruiting video of all time. Unless you work at a construction site or my office this is NSFW.

ABSOLUTE NOSTALGIA

Coming next week... the top 10 ridiculous quotes from the Collin Farrell sex tape.

Sports Guy

I'm definitely not the first to state that I believe that Bill Simmons has gone way down hill. Hell, there is a whole site of people doing basically that. And it's hard to put an exact reason on why.. other than the fact that he's used the same basic jokes for 4 years straight.

It's at the point now where someone can do a spot on impression like Straight Bangin did earlier this month:

Actually, yes. Here's an idea: why not send Simmons out to cover signing day next month so we can get inanity like, "My favorite signing is Orlando (FL) Edgewater WR Greg Mathews going to Michigan. Here's a kid who could have stayed at home and gone to a school like Miami, where he would have been like the Tubbs to Kyle Wright's Crockett, but instead he's going to a place where the best he can do is be like a less-funny Axel Foley. And you know he's gonna be cold. In fact, I can't wait until the second weekend in November when Mathews is standing on the sidelines, breaking in the new 'I Didn't Realize It Was This Cold' Greg Mathews face. I think we're all excited about this. One day, when I'm running ESPN 8, we'll have entire programming blocks dedicated to the greatest faces in the history of bad college choices. I love college signing day; you can't make this stuff up."

If you want to realize how far Simmons has fallen, try to remember the last time you sent someone a link to one of Simmon's articles, and not in a "hey this guy's has lost it" fashion. I used to send my dad a link to his articles every few months when he hit something about sports or television dead on. It's been at least a year since I've done that. The only reason I check the site on a regular basis anymore is to see the Intern's links. Whatever, it happens. Dave Matthews went the same boring route. I'm pretty sure he released an album last year and I can't name one song off of it. Which isn't surprising since I felt no need to buy the album.

boring football thoughts

- I really wonder how good Reggie Bush is. The one thing I was really impressed by in the Rose Bowl was USC's offensive line. They absolutely dominated the Texas D-line which I would have to assume isn't normally that horrible. If you're looking for a example of how an oline can make a running back's career, compare Clinton Portis with Denver and the the Redskins.

That being said, no way he's not going to be an absolute bust. He has exceptional speed and makes good cuts, and seems to have pretty good vision. The key will be for him to be in a good system and learn how to actually deal with getting tackled.

And I hate when people try to say he didn't show up for the Rose Bowl. Kid had 170 receiving/rushing yards on one of the top 5 defenses in the nation.

- Everyone needs to chill the fuck out on Vince Young. In an absolute best case scenario, he'd look like Vick currently does. Whereas Vick can still improve and be one of the five best quarterbacks in the league on a constant basis.

- You can go ahead and consider this the end of the Colts dynasty. Even if they get the players back next year, they will doubt themselves in the playoffs. They are already defeated.

- Expect the same from the Patriots. You can't lose assistant coaches every year and expect to keep winning championships. Belechik can't do it all by himself.

- I'm not excited about any team remaining in the NFL playoffs. I can't even figure out what the most intriguing matchup would be. It'd have to be the Steelers and I guess either or the NFC teams, maybe Carolina since they were there a couple of years ago.

- That Colts/Steelers had the most ridiculous end to a game I've seen in a long time. It went from being a game featuring one of the worst fumbles of all time, to a game featuring one of the biggest choke jobs of all time. Of course all of this overshadowed one of the worst replay calls of all time.

- I unfortunately don't think the Falcons are going to do much this offseason. McKay sounds like he thinks most of their problems are a result of injuries and youth. I don't think they need a total overhaul, but they need to bring a few big time players.

- I'm a little worried about Auburn next year. First of all the media is going to rank us way too high. They are going to see our backfield returning and assume because our harder games are at home that we have an easy schedule. When in fact our schedule is hard and we're losing some really important guys on both sides of the ball. Offense loses 3 of the top four WR, top TE, LT, and RT. Defense loses NT, DT, DE, 2 LBs. and the defense was particularly shakey the second half of the year anyway. Then you throw in the fact that we play Washington St, LSU, Florida, Arkansas, and UGA at home along with bama and South Carolina (Thurs. night game after a Saturday game against weak opponent) and there is more than one or two opportunities for a loss. Especially considering if Brandon Cox gets injured we have no one to back him up. It'd be just like Leard getting hurt and us having to put in Jeff Klein again. ugh.

New Years Resolutions

In 2006 I will try to embetter myself by peforming the following random acts:

- Piss off a celebrity

- Continue to bet on sports. However, this year I will actually win money

- Teach someone how to love a woman and scold a child

- Use the nickname broseph less and brocephus more

- Break someone's spirit

- Memorize all the lyrics to Lazy Sunday

- Take a vaction that doesn't take place in the state of Georgia or involve seeing a family member or football game

- Occasionally stop and take the time to ask myself "Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?"