knuckle sandwich

I have no clue about the context of this clip, but I can't stop watching it. I'm pretty sure I've watched it 20 times in the last 10 minutes.



God I love this, I'm dying to hear the backstory. The quotes I can make out are the old lady saying " She's just....." and the puncher finishes the sentence for her by saying "Trash" . Meanwhile the lady getting punched is saying "They smoked marijuana together. Did you know that honey? Cary had THC in her system"

And then the punchee just gets walloped. I wonder if she was like a little kid who is completely stunned for about 5 seconds, and then after the clip ends she was just wailing hysterically with snot running down her face..

(HT: Straight Bangin)

celeb gossip stuff

They say the girl in question from this story used to be a stripper at Scores. However, considering she was vying for a table in between Axl and Starbury, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if it was either the Crafty Vet or the Former Intern in drag.

Oh yeah, and Tom Cruise runs...a lot.

drinking and what not

Am I the only one who sees something like this and thinks that lowering the drinking age is the logical solution. Then the university would be absolved of blame in drinking matters. The only reason I see not to lower the drinking age to 18, is the problem of drinking and driving. And I don't really have an answer for that. Of course, it doesn't really because it'd be political suicide if anybody had the gonads to prepose this.

Nine days until the Derby. Here is a look at what life is like in the infield. At one point, for a end of college trip, I wanted to attend the triple crown. Seemed like a great idea to me. Hit the Derby up, couple weeks later go to DC for the Preakness, and then finish it up with a trip to New York City. That's a hell of a spring when you mix in chicks in sundresses and gambling. Instead I decided to head out West. However, I still think this a great idea. Unfortunately, last time I checked, no has set up and easy travel package. The ideal situation would be one company that would arrange tickets, a hotel room, and a guide to the best parties and bars in the area. I imagine I'll make this trip before I'm 30. I'm also, officially calling out The Rail Bird, and challenging him to post something every day next week. Of course, he obviously knows nothing about horse racing since he didn't pick Giacomo to win last year.

I spent about an hour writing a post earlier this week about why you shouldn't draft a QB in the first round of the draft. In the last 10 years there have been something like 32 QBs taken. 15 are pretty good, 15 have been busts, and two others have been affected by injuries. So then I looked back at the running backs taken over the last 10 years and they had a 50% success rate too. Maybe offensive tackles are a safer bet, but I'm too tired to go back and check all of that out, plus I"m not exactly in a position to rate the effectiveness of every left tackle from the 97 draft.

But what I did realize is a set of qualifications that will help lower the bust rate. Only draft QBs from perennial top 20 programs, never draft anyone who spent a majority of their time in college playing from the shotgun or in a spread offense, and avoid Tedford coached qbs. From the last 10 years, the first rounders that meet this qualifications are (to the best of my knowledge in regards to offense ran): Carson Palmer, Rex Grossman, can't remember if Vick played primarily from the shotgun, Cade McNown, Peyton Manning, Kerry Collins, Heath Shuler. That's only two absolute busts out of 7 picks. 72% is a hell of a lot better than 50%. Of course you miss out on the Eli Mannings, Steve McNairs, and Ben Roethlisbergers of the world, but you also avoid the Ryan Leafs, Akili Smiths, and Kyle Bollers of the world.

best quote from the weekend... "actually Thomas Edison invented fire"

tmbg

Oh yes, Tiny Toons and They Might Be Giants, it's like I'm back in middle school. Actually being the little music nerd that I was, I had actually owned the album Flood for awhile before it appeared on Tiny Toons, so I was quite disappointed when everyone else at my school all of sudden knew the songs. The album might be one of the 5 most enjoyable albums ever recorded (Graceland probably makes the list also). I think in the pre-computer days, I bought at least 3 copies of this CD, which is pretty significant since that was at least two weeks allowance every time.

"I will never say the word "Procrastinate" again; I'll never see myself in the mirror with my eyes closed. I didn't apologize for when I was eight and I made my younger brother have to be my personal slave"


Flood on iTunes

Music Road

I haven't seen it yet, but I got a feeling that Edwin McCain's new show Music Road on Turner South is going to be awesome. Apparently it's a mixture or interviews and performance with a different Southern band each week. Last week the Drive By Truckers were on the show. On the site I linked to above, in the lower left hand corner there are some video interviews with Edwin. In the one called "His favorite venues" he talks about Smith's Olde Bar. Which is sweet since I've seen none other than one Connor Rand rock the stage there. The Truckers episode will be on next Wed. 4/26 at 1:50 am, so if you have Tivo or don't have a job, you're in luck.

Cosby Mania

straight up Cosby (sound)

Richard [Pryor] said, "The next time the motherfucker call, tell him I said, "Suck *my* dick." I don't give a fuck. Whatever the fuck make the people laugh, say that shit. Do the people laugh when you say what you say?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Do you get paid?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Well, tell Bill I said have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up. Jello pudding-eating motherfucker." -Eddie Murphy

Error in judgement

Meet George Jetson

The Arizona Cardinals got some crazy futuristic shiznit going on. Personally, I hate the Georgia Dome, but a retractable roof and real grass would certainly make it a lot more pleasant.

Proof and Sheed

I can't be the only one who thinks that Proof from D12, who just recently died, and Rasheed Wallace look exactly same. Then you throw in the fact they both lived in Detroit. They could have pulled off some "identical cousins" Patty Duke Show antics.

I can't stop laughing

What Would a Ninja Do?

This is probably the downside to all of the ninja videos that have been floating around the internet for the past year. My favorite quote is "when he sprinted from a ninja-pirate party given by a campus Christian organization". Umm what? If there is one thing campus Chrisitian organizations know how to do, it's having fun without the hindrance that is alcohol. Who wants to play broom hockey? Popcorn prayer? Anyone?

Actually speaking of ninja videos, the Ask a Ninja Podcast on iTunes is pretty amusing.

Home Opener and Game Two

Quick thoughts from attending the last two home games:

- The Home Depot Tool Race has been switched from the Hammer, Saw, and my personal favorite the Electric Drill, to a geeky Paintbrush, an effiminate Paint Roller and I guess what will be my go to Paintbucket. They basically ruined the whole thing. Between this and moundball being eliminated I guess I'll have to focus on going to the bathroom and getting more beer inbetween innings.

- I don't like that it's to the point that I don't even question paying $6.25 for a 16oz beer and insist on tipping the guy. Which essentially means I'm spending $7 a beer.

- I said this back in October but the Braves really should have moved Chipper to 1st during the offseason. Before he got hurt this year he was painful to watch at 3rd. He's just old and slow and Renteria can't cover for him the same way Furcal has the last few years. At first Chipper would have less likey chance of getting injured plus I would much rather have Wilson Betemit playing everyday than LaRoche. As result of not switching positions, we now have Chipper who already has injured an abdominal muscle, ankle and knee, and we currently have LaRoche and Betemit playing everyday.

- Our infield defense is atrocious. By the end of the season we should have probably the best defensive outfielders in the league, thought Francoeur is off to alarmingly slow start. He's misplayed one hoppers in the outfield the last two games.

- At what point do we assess that the pitchers have gone downhill as a result of Mazzone leaving. Theoretically everyone could just be in a slump right now and getting some bad luck. I guess I'll say if they are still in the bottom 3rd of the league in ERA on June 1st, then it might be time for concern.

- Would you say there is about a 90% chance that Terry Pendleton takes over for Bobby Cox when he retires? I think the only chance against it is if a better job comes along before then. I'm sure he'd love to coach the Cardinals.

- Brian McCann may just end up having the best career of the Baby Braves. Francoeur obviously has the chance to beat him out, but "Heap" is one hell of a young catcher.

- There are no shortage of hot chicks at Turner Field. Hot 30 year olds, hot girls in their twenties, and way too much jail bait considering the amount of drunk men walking around.

- We were kicked out of two seats by ushers before the game last night. And I'm talking lower deck section right by the left field foul pole where I sat 5-6 times last year with no problem. Although it appears they don't give a damn where you sit after the third inning. I just hate sitting in the upper deck for even three innings.

- As a man of privilege I must say I do thoroughly enjoy the Lexus Lot. It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend parking there.

- I've said it before and I'll say it again, Jorge Sosa has the best pig latin name in history. Or Hay Hay Osa Say. If it can be topped, I'd love to hear it.

- Peter Orr ate small children on his way to the plate to pinch hit for Sosa in the 4th. He hit a screamer to left center for a triple. He probably could have had an inside the park homer if he decided to jog instead of walking around the bases. Unfortunately, there were 2 outs so he wasn't able to tag up on Giles' infield fly. I just don't understand why Bobby didn't give him the green light to steal home.

Sweet Ronnie Brown

I have no idea why it took me this long to come across this post from EDSBS but it's fantastic. My personal favorite Ronnie Brown moment may be his over the shoulder catch for a TD while outrunning the overhyped Thomas Davis. Just the first in what looks to be a long line of UGA safeties who are great against the run and lay ferocious tackles, but couldn't cover Freddie Mitchell if he had a bum ankle. Let's hope the Falcons don't draft Greg Blue.

Went to the Braves game last night and I should have an update later, but let's just say I"m not happy with the Home Depot Tool Race from last night.

Amen Corner

Well I meant to post this last week, but about a year ago I was screwing around with Google Map's satellite feature. I found Augusta National on it and decided to download the photo. I then numbered the holes on the back 9. It gives you a better feel for how much each hole dog legs and what the green to tee walks are like. The picture below was the biggest I could fit on here, but you can see the full size one here.

As for the actual Masters, it was absolute joy seeing Freddy Couples in the pack again. If I could steal anyone on tour's swings, it would definitely be Couples. Other than that: Rocco Mediate has an absolutely ugly swing, I think Phil's wife is overrated, Tiger is still a douche (especially that gesture after he hit the putt on 18), during football and basketball I though Verne Lundquist was losing it but his announcing on 16 is still top notch, Jim Nantz is a bigger douche "with all due respect those hugs mean more than any green jacket" jack ass, I would still do anything to play Augusta once in my lifetime.

Masters

it's not as good as March Madness on Demand, but the Masters' website has live video coverage of Amen corner. So you're at the mercy of who's playing 11 or 12 at the moment, but it's better than nothing, they have a bunch of different cameras and announcers.

kinda the greatest site ever

Pandora is to music what Tivo Suggestions is to television. Basically it's a flash? music player. You start off by telling it an artist you like. Then they immediately start playing other songs from the same genre. As you go, you either approve or disapprove of the songs you hear. You can also add other artists that you dig. Eventually the site gets a better feel for what your tastes actually are. I've only started to mess around with it, but I like where it's going. Eventually you should get a pretty good mix of songs you own and songs you've never heard before, but are right up your alley. My whole office world is going to change. Instead of surfing on the internet and not doing work, I'll now be surfing on the internet and not doing work...with headphones on. Sweet.

and if you just want to illegally download music, Regnyouth has a new location.

another screen capture

Apparently my link to the Office April Fool's Day clips produced the following Adwords Ad:


I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no. However the premise would possibly make the greatest Chappelle's Show skit ever. Probably the most offensive as well.

April Fools

Here's the complete archive of the The Office's April Fools Day versions of The More You Know commercials. They're pretty funny as is, but they caught you a little more off guard in the midst of other commericals for Scrubs and other shows last week.

call me immature but...

So I'm looking at my Google personalized start up page. You can set one up here. Basically you can add RSS feeds so you can see the headlines from ESPN, or see if a blog you read has a new entry and what not. Then Google has some of their own features like the weather in your zip code or words of the day. I've included a screen capture of my words of the day below:



Here is the actual definition page for cum. If you can read through all the examples on that page without laughing... well you're a better man than I am. Or most likely you're probably a woman.

silly birds

in honor of baseball starting back up, here's the video of Randy Johnson making a bird explode from a couple of years ago.

and in honor of Fabio being an idiot, here is the old before and after video of Fabio riding the roller coaster and apparently a goose hitting him in the face halfway through the ride. If only they could have caught the moment of impact it might be the greatest video of all time.

Opening Day

Why am I not surprised that 7 out of 19 experts picked the Mets to beat out the Braves for the NL East? At what point do you just give the Braves the benefit of the doubt? Don't they know we have Pete Orr on the roster still? I heard he ran a 3.96 40 yard dash.

This really bothers me

Chris Porter has problems. I can't think of an athlete I enjoyed watching more. My first two years at Auburn were pretty much defined by that basketball team. Sure he wasn't a great shooter, but he hustled, rebounded, etc. He looked like another Dennis Rodman. I really wish he could pull it together but that seems like a longshot at this point.